Last night

Last night, I'm laying in my bed asleep, and I'm awakened by a text message. It was my youth leader from church saying to go to the chapel to worship with him. I was a bit confused, because I didn't realize that he was on campus. So I went to the chapel for Praise & Worship. After Praise & Worship I called my friend Renee. When I finally got her on the phone she says that I have to come to Brandon's house because Logan wanted to see me. So I walked down to his house. When I got there Logan was laid out in the floor. I knew from that moment that I was in store for an interesting night. All I wanted to do was do my homework and go to bed, but it didn't work out that way. I was at Brandon's house until 11, then we leave in a frenzy because Logan's boyfriend came over, and she didn't want him there. So once we get to where we could get her out of the house we did. We did something that we should not have done, but it was the only option that we had. We came back to the dorms. When we got back, the RA knew that something was up but pretty much just ignored us, which was a good thing because Logan could have been wrote up, and we did want that to happen. Well, before we left, Logan and Renee were fussing and Logan was telling Renee that she needed to quit letting people walk all over her. Which she is right, but poor Renee. She was all to pieces. I didn't know what to do for her, except to just be there with her..Well, I end up laying in the bed with Logan, rubbing her head and her back until she finally passed out. And when Renee was ready for bed I did the same thing for her. I love those girls with all my heart....After they were sound asleep, I did my homework, and then just laid in the bed. As I was laying there I was just thinking about so many things...I had so many things that just flooded my mind and my thoughts. I began to think about the many times that my aunt was hospitalized because of a very controlling boyfriend...much like Logan's boyfriend..and it scared me for her, and then I began to think about the things that Renee struggles with that no one knows about...All I could do was cry...Because I love them so much, and it hurts me when people I love hurt. I just laid there in Renee's bed just thinking about the events of the night, and thinking about how things could be so much better for the both of them.

what i would say if i had the balls to say it...

So here I am, and I guess that you could say that I am a bit confused. I want to be the hero and save everyone from everything...but I cant... I am so sick and tired of people thinking that the world revolves around them. You know...I figured that after the 3rd, 4th, and 5th time that you did the same thing over and over, and it didn't turn out the way that you wanted it to...that you would just give up and realize that your children were more important..but obviously not...i think that it is pathetic that you constantly put yourself through all of this bull, and you know that there is something more out there...but no...you had to go and do it again...all i can say that you are probably the most deranged person that I know...gah..I cant believe that i still have anything to say to you...i wish so bad that i could quit and come back to fix everything that you have screwed up...because you are never going to get yourself together and make sure that everything is OK for her...you would rather screw the milk man before you would care about how it affected anyone else...