Almost Forgiven

I don't want you to think less of me

I don't want you to not forgive me of my past

& I don't want to lose you

But if you can't for one minute think that I'm not going to screw up again

You know that you're wrong

I tried & you wouldn't let me make it up to you

& you wouldn't trust me

I tried to tell you but you wouldn't listen to me

I wanted to make things right

But that wasn't good enough for you

You wanted me to relive all the pain

& put me through more than what the actual events caused

I wanted to forgive, I tried & did at one point

& then you had to go and do it again

What's the point in saying that you are going to do one thing

& then not do it

but end up doing the exact opposite

That's when it gets really hard to say

I forgive you...

I am supposed to love you

Not only because of who you are

But because God tells me that I have to

I want to have a good relationship with you like so many others that I know

I wish that I could have you back, but someone else has a hold of you

& now fills that place where I once stood

& no matter how hard I try I will never have your approval

& the love that I am supposed to have from you

& in case you didn't catch the drift...

Daddy I'm talking about you

By - Donna Marie Williams

written in 2007